Some uh, egos cause I enjoy them all
Oh you’ve redecorated…
I don’t like it
i acknowledge that this house has had a renovation, but given that it’s a stupid-ass renovation, i’ve elected to ignore it.
Someone kick me out of the Jacksepticeye community
In other words, I love Jackieboy Man
@therealjacksepticeye
There’s clearly only one culprit to the mysterious disappearance of the mighty flamingo shorts…
Useless Creatures
Kitten sat, hunched over, in a corner of his lonely room. Hair hanging over his eyes and partially obscuring his vision. Running a hand along his ribs to asses the damage from the previous day.
They stood out sharply against his fingertips and thrummed with pain as he brushed against them. Probably just bruised. Kitten knew, all too well, how painful it would have been if they were broken.
With a breathy sigh he pulled his shirt back down. Rubbing his hand across an equally bruised neck. It was almost certainly patterned with blue-purple fingers.
The memory of yesterday flashed across his mind. He could still feel the hands wrapping around his throat. Cutting off his only source of air.
Absently, he ran a hand over his face and up into his hair. Brushing it back as he straightened up. Ignoring the complaints of his chest.
Soft, almost inaudible, footsteps strode down the hall. Stopping outside the cold metal door. The little flap at the bottom swung on its hinge as a tray was shoved through. Scraping along the floor.
Kitten glanced up. From his position in the corner he could make out the usual slice of bread and bowl of stew. A slightly chipped cup of water that Kitten knew would taste vaguely of dust and metal.
He didn’t feel like moving. Even the idea of shifting his ribs sent phantom pain shooting across his shoulders. He’d move when he got hungry enough and not a moment sooner.
Just as this decision crossed his mind, Kitten heard a quiet scratching coming from the other side of the door. The food flap lifted and a small grey shape scurried into the room.
Kitten watched in vague confusion as the ball of fluff sniffed the air once and turned towards his meal. Skittering forward on tiny pink feet.
Kitten gave a small yell an lunged forward. Grabbing the tray away from the creature and retreating to the furthest edge of the room. The creature squealed in terror and scampered towards the flap it had come through.
It hit the one way door with a little thud, and bounced backward, squeaking indignantly. The grey mass paused for a minute as it skidded to a stop a few steps away. The silence was deafening. Then the creature screamed. Squeaking wildly and Scrambling in seemingly random directions. Driven entirely by instincts that told it to run.
Its squealing was worse than the silence and Kitten pulled back. Standing as still as he could. His back to the wall, and the tray clutched tightly in both hands.
The creature ran and screamed for ages before it dropped to the floor next to the flap. Completely exhausted. Resigned to its fate in the monotonous grey room.
Kitten sat down warily, placing the tray in his lap. Quietly sipping on spoonfuls of the questionable stew. Refusing to take his eyes off the strange grey thing that had stumbled upon him.
He had finished the stew and had moved on to the bread when the creature turned to look at him. Beady little eyes staring him down.
Kitten sighed and broke off a piece of his bread. Holding it out to the creature. His hand resting on the floor. It looked at him. Rising tentatively and stepping forward with all the caution that Kitten had often possessed.
It took an eternity for the creature to arrive at his hand and take the hunk of bread. Grasping it carefully in tiny paws and nibbling away viciously.
Kitten smiled awkwardly at his new companion. Silently naming it Grey.
—
Three days later, he was sitting cross legged on the floor. Watching Grey dig at the concrete, when the door creaked open. Both Kitten and Grey perked up.
Kitten was scrambling to his feet when Grey shot up. Racing past Anti and out of the room as fast as his little legs could take him.
“Grey, no!” Kitten yelled. Lunging forward in a futile attempt to catch the little creature. He stumbled slightly and straightened. Eyes sparkling with tears.
Anti stared at Kitten. A range of emotions from confused to furious, crossed his face in a split second. Kitten looked back nervously. He had a sneaking suspicion that Anti wasn’t pleased with him.
Anti, however, didn’t attack him. Instead, he murmured something that sounded an awful lot like ‘wait here’, turned, and shut the door. Kitten could hear his footsteps fading away.
And wait he did. Returning to his cross-legged position on the floor. Tears over his lost companion threatening to spill.
Anti returned momentarily. A squirming, squealing creature grasped tightly in his clawed hand.
“Is this your mouse, pet?”
Kitten nodded. So that’s what it was called.
Anti entered the room fully, closing the door behind himself. He crossed the room and knelt in front of Kitten.
“Hold out your hands.”
Kitten obeyed quickly, and Anti placed the squirming mouse in his left hand. Gently, he took Kittens right hand and positioned his fingers on either side of Grey’s neck. Kitten looked up at Anti. A smile dawning on his face.
“Kill it.”
The smile shattered.
“B-but he-”
“Obey me, pet. Kill it.”
Kitten looked at him. Tears swimming in his eyes.
“Snap its neck or I’ll be forced to snap yours.”
Kitten nodded shakily. He squeezed his eyes shut and twisted his fingers.
There was a squeal, a snap, and then silence. The struggling body in his hands went limp.
Kittens hands were shaking. The body of the mouse fell to the ground with a soft thump. His shoulders shook as he tried to keep from breaking down in front of Anti.
He felt clawed hands wrap around him. Encompassing his body in the quietly humming static.
Anti pulled him forward. Pressing his head into the glitches shoulder. Running sharp fingers through tangled hair.
Kitten sobbed, and Anti held him tighter.
“Shh. It’ll be okay Kitten. You had to learn eventually.”
“Mice are pests. Useless creatures. And this is what we do with useless creatures.”
“We snap their little necks.”
Kitten nodded and sniffled quietly.
“You best be careful, Kitten. That you never become a useless creature.”
—
Kitten opened his eyes. He was curled against the doctors side. Shaking quietly from the memory. Tears for a long dead friend brimmed, but he blinked them away quickly. The room was dark, grey, and safe. The doctor was here and Kitten was safe. He burrowed further into Schneeps side and allowed sleep to claim him once again.
—
Tag list:
@iris-the-asparagus @kitnkas @dumbthinmint @metautske @honestlyitsjustkenna @beck-pma @sour-demon @eightales7 @daughter-of-apollo07 @aether-mae @whydoilovesomanyvillians @starlightxnightmare @egopocalypse
some of you dont respect jacks privacy or care that hes nearly 30 fucking years old and it shows
Anonymous asked:
56 with Chase and Schneep?
reverseblackholeofwords answered:
56. “You don’t have to act like you’re okay.”
Schneep lazily watches the coffee pot fill up one morning as the sun begins to rise outside the kitchen window. He assumes since the house is so quiet that he’s the only one up, and he enjoys the quiet mornings to himself. It gives him time to think.
Until Chase comes in, bright and chipper even in the mornings and always very talkative. “Want eggs? Sunny-side up? Of course you do.” Chase starts cracking eggs into a skillet and humming to himself while tossing the shells at the garbage and missing by a mile. “Ooh, what about some bacon? I could really go for some bacon.”
“Please, don’t throw ze bacon, Chase,” Schneep warns him, and Chase winks at his brother and opens the fridge with his foot.
“Come on, Schneep. Don’t you think I could make it if I tried to toss the bacon into the pan from here?”
“No!” Henrik snaps. He is not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. “It vill end up on ze floor, and ve vill have ze hairy, dirty bacon again.”
Chase snorts and drops a few slices of bacon into the skillet with the eggs. “Alright, alright.” He hums a little more as he flips the bacon and scoops out the eggs onto one big platter. Then when the coffee maker begins to beep, signaling that it’s done brewing, he pulls down two mugs and hands them to Schneep. “Pour up a cup for me too, please?”
The doctor fills up Chase’s mug about halfway since the young father likes to add lots and lots of cream and sugar. Once they’ve made their coffee, they settle down to breakfast. “Mmm, man this sure looks good, even if I do say so myself!”
Henrik raises an eyebrow at Chase as he chews pensively on a slice of bacon. Chase seems happy, yes, but maybe a little too happy. As the others trickle into the kitchen, all in their morning stupors, Chase offers them some of the breakfast he made.
“No, thanks,” Jackie mutters with a shrug throwing stuff into the blender. “It’s protein shakes for me.” He takes the whole pitcher, grabs his headphones, and leaves for his jog.
Anti grabs a fistful of the bacon and then turns to go, and Chase clears his throat. “Don’t you want to have breakfast together?” He doesn’t get an answer as Anti glitches away.
Marvin and Jameson make tea, and Jamie grabs his box of biscuits before signing that he and Marvin are going out to see a movie. Chase points at the plate of cold breakfast. “But guys…”
“Sorry, bro,” Marvin calls back with a wave, “maybe tomorrow?”
As the door swings shut behind them, Henrik sees Chase’s chest fall in the corner of his eye. Then the dad immediately perks up and shrugs his shoulders. “Oh well! More for us, I guess.”
“Chase…”
“Those kids don’t know what they’re missing out on, right?” Chase’s smile begins to crack. “Families are supposed to eat together… right? This is–this is prime family time.”
Schneep watches Chase crumble and swallows the food in his mouth. It’s been a while since he’s seen his brother cry, and he begins to wonder just how many times Chase has hidden something like this behind one of those big, bright smiles.
“Chase, you don’t have to act like you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” Chase insists, angrily wiping the tears from his face. “I just wanted to have breakfast together. It’s fine. I’ll just clean it up…”
Henrik grabs Chase’s wrist as he reaches for the plates. “Vhen vas ze last time someone made a meal for you?” Chase shuts his eyes and puts his head down. Schneep sighs. “Talk to me.”
“It’s… Fried Eggs and Bacon Friday,” Chase mutters after a slight pause.
Henrik’s brow wrinkles in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“Every Friday I used to make the kids fried eggs and bacon to celebrate that it was the end of the week, and Stacy would squeeze fresh orange juice. And Sammy always put maple syrup on her bacon, but Billy liked nacho cheese on his.” Big tears well up in Chase’s eyes as he stares down at the table and grips the fabric of his sweatpants where his hands rest on his knees. “I just thought, even if I can’t be with my kids, maybe we could still…”
He breaks into another string of sobs, and Henrik scoots his chair over to put an arm around Chase. “I am sure ze ozers vould understand if you asked them to…”
“No! I don’t want to bother them. They’re busy, and Jackie is always dieting or something and I’m pretty sure Marvin is a vegetarian now or something.”
Schneep sighs. “But you want to eat breakfast as a family.”
“Since when does it matter what I want?” The crying stops and Chase just stares emptily out the window. “Did I want my wife to decide she didn’t want to grow old with me? Did I want our family to fall apart? Did I want to lose my kids?” He shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter what I want or don’t want.”
Henrik sighs quietly, then gets up, and tugs on the sleeve of Chase’s hoodie. “Come on.” Chase looks up at him, and he opens his mouth to protest but Schneep shakes his head. “Please, Chase.” So he lets Schneep lead him to the couch in the den where the doctor puts in one of the kids’ movies that Chase likes.
The dad raises an eyebrow. “But Schneep, you hate this movie…”
Henrik pulls Chase down onto the couch beside him and puts a blanket around them, letting Chase snuggle close even though Chase knows that Schneep hates to cuddle. “Henrik, you don’t have to do this.”
“It’s okay to not be okay,” Schneep tells him and leans his head against Chase’s. “It’s okay.” For a moment, Henrik wonders if this is helping at all, but eventually he hears Chase sniffle as the movie “Up” begins to play and the beginning always makes him cry.
And it feels good to cry and be with someone. Eventually, the knot in Chase’s chest unwinds, and after a little while, he can watch the movie with Schneep without any more tears. Well, maybe just a few at the sad parts…
“I like Doug. Can we get a dog, Henrik? A cute, fluffy pupper?”
“I like ze scary one. Let’s get a scary dog.”
“Henriiik…”
thelighthousewatcher
